Wow...

I had no idea it had been this long. I've been working on stuff, half finishing, and giving up. I don't even know where the drafts of my book are.
Whoops.
I'll try again later.

Pretty imperfect

They tell beautiful stories
to the ugly children
who never knew anything else.
They fill their heads
with falsehoods and lies
that not even the storytellers have seen.
They shower them with praises
of their imaginary perfection
that dance and mix in their dreams.
They, with their skewed realities,
their hidden resentment,
their deformities,
tell the young minds what is
(or isn't)
to have them hate and resent
and pass it on.

Untitled 2

They live and breathe
and fall down together
seizing and spazzing
paying their dues,
putting up with it like they have to.

Others choke each other
to asphyxiation
and still manage to let go
and move on.

Untitled 1

I want to tell you all my secrets,
but it seems I've forgotten what to say.
I could tell you everything,
but I know what you'll think of me
if I do,
and that you'll leave.


I don't say anything.
I keep quiet.
I hide it all away.
Then I watch you leave,
glued to this spot,
and don't bother to open my mouth
to ask you why.

At all?

Would you even see me
if I was kneeling in front of you,
blocking your way
with my tear-filled and pleading eyes?

Would you hear me
if I was sobbing and begging
for you to take me back in your arms
and call me yours again?

Would you feel my pain
if I told you how much it hurt
to see you run off
with that thing called a girl?

Would you care, even a little,
if you watched me break down
and did nothing to help,
even in my most needy times?

Would you notice
when I never showed up again,
when you didn't see me anywhere,
because of everything you didn't do?

That's a different story.

Don't ask me about the grudges I hold,
because really, I have none.
Ask me, instead, for my reasons for being upset,
because those I could run off for you.

I gold nothing against anyone
who was not involved,
or who happened to stumble in on a certain
battle of integrity and pride.

I smile
at whoever has done so first,
that anyone who wants can see.

Now as for how I really feel,
well...

A silent plea for no help

Dearest wind, don't even try
to keep me upright.
I ask you to blow at my back.
Make life easier for me,
instead of asking me to work harder.
Merciless ocean below,
your ice cold grip
appears warm and welcoming
from my peak-view.
Please save your applause
until the end of the show.
To the night birds flying overhead,
a dinner for you.
Don't fight the happy families of three
for their potato chips
and sandwich crusts.
And, oh!
The fullest of full moons,
come to watch
and stare helplessly,
how is your seat?
I see you sent your friend
to caress my face and ask,
one last time,
to reconsider my choice.
Deep breath, floating down...

But what's this?
A grasp at my t-shirt
and panting, sputtering from behind
"What are you doing?!"
I should be asking you the same question
I know that voice.
I remember,
yes I remember quite clearly.
It's the reason I'm here in the first place.

Here and forward: From the other side

Sure, I see her cry,

I’m not blind,

But I don’t care anymore.

How can I care when I have someone new?

I left her for dead,

She’s no longer my problem.

It’s her fault, anyway.

She wouldn’t leave me alone.

I have others to think of now.

Supposedly they get me.

They helped me figure out who I am.

She never helped me.

This is me now.

This is who I’m supposed to be.

Where is everyone going?

And here I am, alone again,

My best friend nowhere in sight.

Maybe I should have listened.

Please forgive me.

No more empty promises.

I promise.

General update, no poems right now.

As much as I know that there aren't a lot of people who actually read this, I felt it necessary to inform the internet community that I am not, in fact, dead. I have been experiencing the magical illness known to most as "writer's block" (whatever the hell that means) and will hopefully be updating more over the summer. Yay me.

Can I just say thank you?

"Like a comet pulled from orbit, as it passes a sun. Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood. Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good"

I'm coming to realize that there are people in our lives that will be moving in and out and possibly even back in again. And these people will all change us in some way or another. There have been a lot of bumps in this little road called life, and I'm nowhere near my exit, but I'm content with how everything is turning out.

To my friends who have stuck by me: I love you guys!!
To the people that happened to stumble in on my bad days: Thank you for listening.
To those who seem to have slipped out of reach: The point is that you were in reach at some time or another.

Thank you to everyone who has been with me, near me, loved me, hated me, and everything in between.
Believe me, you shan't be forgotten.

Therapy

I'm messed up

and i need fixing.

And i need summer

so i can be fixed;

so i may bask in the sun,

and fry like bacon,

only to ask:

where has the winter gone?